Is Referring to Women as “Girls” Offensive?

As I’m “Vegan Girl” and not “Vegan Woman,” I figured I’d provide my two cents.

Some say that referring to a female over the age of 18 is infantilizing and dismissive, but it should depend on how the term is used.

The official definition of “woman” is an adult female human being. The official definition of “adult” is a person who is fully grown or developed. In most countries, like the U.S., the legal age of adulthood is 18. The official definition of “girl” is a female child or adolescent.

Obviously, these definitions are outdated when it comes to the reality and lived experiences of trans women and girls. Throughout this article, we will be discussing how certain terminology affects cisgender females of all ages. As I am a cisgender woman, I can only speak to my lived experience. If you are interested in the non-cisgender relationship with girlhood and certain terminology, Diva Magazine has an excellent article on the subject.

When strictly looking at definitions, referring to an American female over the age of 18 as a girl would be incorrect. However, the official definition of “dude” is a man or guy. In the 21st century, “dude” has become a gender-neutral term that people refer to friends as in a calm environment. I believe “girl” can be used the same way.

For example, my husband and I call each other “girl” as a term of endearment. Here are some of our favorite phrases:

“Get it, girl!” “Love you, girl!” “Hey, girl!” and so on.

I chose to be “Vegan Girl" as a reference to Gossip Girl, plus it sounds much better than “Vegan Woman.”

My great-aunt calls my grandmother “girl,” my mother calls her friends “the girls,” and so on. I think referring to your friends, regardless of their gender or age, as “girl” is not the issue that many people have attempted to claim it is.

We should refer to each other as we solely choose to be referred to. My issue with this conversation is that many people on social media comment on situations where someone pays an adult female a compliment like “Looking good, girl!” and someone else chimes in and replies, “You mean ‘woman’…”

When race is involved, girls of color, specifically Black girls, have often experienced adultification. Based on the nature of this portion of the article, I consulted with a dear friend of mine, Maya, who spoke to me about adultification and how important intersectionality is for all parts of Veganism, Feminism, and Vegan-Feminism. Maya is a talented, Black Vegan-Feminist woman who creates exceptional video essays on Veganism, Anti-Natalism, and other philosophies that her and I both subscribe to.

Adultification is the damaging perception of young girls, most notably Black girls, as being grown, mature, and less innocent than their white peers. Actual Black girls are instead being referred to as young women or women in the media, especially when they are the victims of police brutality.

When the media paints Black girls as grown women, the public perceives Black girls as needing less protection than their white peers. Seeing these children as grown adults leads them to be more vulnerable to violence, abuse, and exploitation. Specifically, young Black girls who are adultified are in turn hypersexualized, leading to young Black girls being forced into sexual scenarios, sexual abuse, teen pregnancy, and even prostitution.

Referring to Black girls as “women” is damaging and can even be life threatening. But what about referring to Black women as “girls?”

Referring to someone as, or simply saying the world “girl” is also common within the dialect AAVE (African American Vernacular English). Some individuals online have argued that the term “girl” belongs to Black culture and should only be used by People of Color. Some who use the term “girl” often put on an “accent” that is quite clearly a reference to Black culture. In this instance, “girl” is absolutely offensive appropriation.

However, when used with kindness, referring to Black women as “girl” or a group of Black women as “girls” is often a sign of sisterhood, support, and love. Not only is this phrase a clear indicatior of trust, but arguably, it may help Black women feel more comfortable and protected.

By (non-Black women) using the term “girl” when reffering to Black women, we may be undoing (a small amount of) the adultification that was forced on them when these women were minors. By seeing them as “girls,” we may be re-offering them the protection and care that was stripped away from them when they were children. A sisterhood connected through love is so much stronger than that formed by blood.

Another testament to this argument is how the word is used. If the word is prefaced with “little” and/or said in a condescending tone, it has a very different meaning. This way of speaking and using the word “girl” is misogynistic and anti-feminist. It should never be used in this way.

If a man is referring to you as “girl,” you should be able to call him “boy” or even “girl” in the same conversation. If he does not allow you to refer to him as such, chances are, he was using it in a way that he intended to be dismissive.

To summarize, each woman should be able to choose how she is referred to. I am a woman, but I love being called “girl” in friendly settings. In professional settings, I am to be referred to and seen as a woman. If I am being referred to as “girl” by an adult male in a conversation, I should be able to refer to him as “boy” or even “girl” in the same conversation. Speaking for other women on mundane issues like this one is very anti-feminist. Referring to adult females as “girls” in a friendly manner is not a harmful rhetoric that will damage the future of womanhood, nor is it an issue that requires intervention. This “issue” does not require the attention it has obtained. However, conversations like these are very important to the betterment of womankind.