Choice Feminism and the Downfall of the Third-Wave
How Choice Feminism has caused more harm than good for Womankind.
Choice Feminism, a branch of Third-Wave Feminism introduced by Linda Hirshman in 2006, posits that any choice a woman makes is inherently a feminist choice. Primarily, it applies to the choices women make for themselves, their bodies, their futures, and their lives.
At face value, Choice Feminism can make sense, especially to young, impressionable women who are learning to prioritize their needs (a crucial part of development). However, once we begin to center our beliefs around what benefits us most, we leave others behind.
In recent years, there has been an uptick in Choice Feminist rhetoric on social media. Women “supporting” other women in comments sections that provide constructive criticism by responding to said comments with, “It’s her life. It’s her choice,” or “Her choice is a feminist choice because she is a woman.” This verbiage seems as though we are barricaded from critiquing women and engaging in critical thinking due to an invisible barrier labeled as Feminism. Refusing to engage in constructive criticism because of a woman’s gender seems infantilizing and condescending, as though women are unable to engage in discourse and evolution. That women are too “weak-minded” or “sensitive” to be told their choices aren’t inherently beneficial or progressive.
Obviously, not all criticism is constructive, and after fighting to be seen and heard for simply existing, it can be exhausting to see negative comments on our social media pages. However, I would like to think that we can distinguish between genuine suggestions or attempts at education and rude, snide, or unhelpful remarks. A typical rule of thumb for myself: if a woman is providing ethical discourse, I trust that she wants the best for me and Womankind; if a man is attempting to provide ethical discourse, I take it with a grain of salt. We’ve been told what to do by men for far too long; we don’t have to listen to our oppressors anymore.
However, it doesn’t take much thought to realize that no, not every choice a woman makes is inherently a feminist one.
Suppose a woman chooses to purchase fast fashion. In that case, she is harming the women who work within these oppressive, abusive, and enslaving enterprises, and basically wearing a billboard that claims she’s okay with that. Suppose a woman chooses to wear makeup every time she walks outside. In that case, she is advertising to her daughters and young girls of the world that women are unfit to be seen in their natural state and promoting the patriarchal ideals that women are to be seen (as perfect) and not heard. If a woman chooses to eat eggs, drink milk, or consume meat, she is showcasing to the world that the female reproductive system should be abused for her benefit of the standard American breakfast; that she doesn’t care about violence, oppression, and abuse towards the most innocent beings (often female) on this planet.
Feminism is not about what benefits you; it is about what benefits us as a whole. If a choice inherently harms more women than it helps, that isn’t a feminist choice, even if a woman made said choice.
Voting for Trump as a woman isn’t a feminist choice. Believing a male rapist over a female victim isn’t a feminist choice. Shaming a woman over her natural body hair in her Instagram comments isn’t a feminist choice. So what leads women to make non-feminist choices?
This idea of “choice” relates to my philosophy surrounding consent under the patriarchy. Essentially, I have a working theory that no choice made by a woman that coincides with what the patriarchy wants from her is a consensual choice. For example, women who choose to wear makeup, shave, or submit to their husbands or boyfriends are not making these decisions consciously. These women may believe that they are “doing it for themselves,” but what is the actual benefit of wearing makeup, shaving, or submitting to men for women?
Similarly, Vidhi Patel writes for The Daily Illini, “The harsh reality is that it is nearly impossible to make a free choice in a society heavily influenced by the patriarchy. Choosing to shave your legs will never be the liberating, anti-patriarchy decision that it is made out to be by choice feminists because the pressure for women to shave comes directly from the patriarchy. Although many women shave and wear makeup so they can feel more confident, it is critical to analyze where these perceptions come from.”
Makeup is expensive, irritating to our skin, and a hassle to apply and remove. Shaving is also expensive, time-consuming, and poses risks for infections and painful ingrown hairs. Submitting to men lands us in unhealthy and sometimes violent relationships. Condoning the women who engage in these acts as a form of “Choice Feminism” reinforces harmful patriarchal values that harm all women in the long run.
On the other hand, as women, we often find that we are treated better by the public when we wear makeup. We also know that we are more comfortable lifting our arms or wearing shorts if we have recently shaved, as we are aware of the feeling of people staring at our natural body hair with disgust. We also know that with submission often comes a perceived sense of safety and security. Many of us make these “choices” out of survival and social pressure. Sometimes, choosing the non-feminist choice is a matter of life or death.
The illusion of choice is ever present within Feminism and beauty standards. White, blonde women, like myself, can get away without shaving a lot easier than women of color or women with thicker, darker body hair. Women of color, specifically Black women, are regularly regarded as “too manly” based on their natural features and appearance. Many Black women feel an overwhelming sense of societal pressure to partake in oppressive beauty standards like shaving and wearing makeup, as the alternative could cost them their careers or their lives.
Third Wave Feminism was initially an addition to the general Feminist movement that focused on other branches of Feminism and emphasized intersectionality. This included uplifting women of the Queer community and prioritizing Women of Color (when past waves refused to acknowledge them). However, this time period was when we witnessed the emergence of Choice Feminism and began to lose sight of everything the Third Wave had built.
Choice Feminism can not coincide with developed views and a deep understanding and application of intersectionality. To partake in Choice Feminism is to engage or disengage in patriarchal values that uphold and uplift painful rhetoric and oppressive values, specifically for Queer women and Women of Color, all without engaging in constructive and meaningful discourse. To eliminate these conversations is to turn a blind eye to all of the horror these “rules” and “values” have caused to women of all races, sexualities, religions, and other defining characteristics.
This idea that women can do whatever they choose, without consideration for how harmful those choices may be, completely reverses all the great work Intersectional Feminists have achieved in the Third Wave. It is our responsibility to fight back against the oppression of the patriarchy and uplift women who are different than us and are “afforded” different privileges than us. Conforming to what the patriarchy demands of you and labeling it as “your choice” is downright cruel and absurd. Don’t fall for the propaganda the Right is forcing on you. Fight back while you still have the chance.
Here in the United States (a blue state), I have the choice to decide whether I want to get married, stay married, or have children (for now). Many Eastern countries and religions do not allow women to divorce their husbands, or make it incredibly difficult to separate. In several parts of Africa and South Asia, young girls are forced into marriage and motherhood. The idea of choice Feminism is, in itself, an ignorant and privileged belief system.
Unfortunately, these “choices” to engage in typical patriarchal desires have been marketed to us as activities that benefit us and our lives, even in trivial amounts. Makeup has now been marketed as a hobby (a very expensive one, might I add), and shaving has been marketed as self-care (think “everything showers”); while submitting to your husband or boyfriend now earns you the title of a “trad-wife” on TikTok.
Rather than dictating what women do, I would like to suggest we think critically when engaging in actions that uphold patriarchal values, no matter how small. Choice Feminism is lazy, unhelpful, and damaging to those who enforce and believe its message. No one is free from critique, and no one should be, either. Conversation and constructive criticism are essential for growth within our movement; however, choice Feminism hinders our ability to flourish.